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What Do We Say To Our Children About The Las Vegas Shooting?   Leave a comment

Let me start off by saying there are so many more qualified people than me to dive deep into counseling youth who are deeply troubled (beyond normal, whatever normal is) by this tragedy and others of a similar nature.

Most of the following are  words of help and understanding from Fred Rogers:

Look For The Helpers – “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

In these cases, young people are inevitably going to ask, “why would God let something like this happen”? For me (Greg), the answer will be “I’m not sure as I’m not God, and can’t speak in his place, but let’s look at all of the qualified people God put in that place to be able to help those in need”. You see, God is faithful to those who need his help.

Even if we wanted to, it would be impossible to give our children all the reasons for such things as war, terrorists, abuse, murders, major fires, hurricanes, and earthquakes. If they ask questions, our best answer may be to ask them, “What do you think happened?” If the answer is “I don’t know,” then the simplest reply might be something like, “I’m sad about the news, and I’m worried. But I love you, and I’m here to care for you.”
If we don’t let children know it’s okay to feel sad and scared, they may think something is wrong with them when they do feel that way. They certainly don’t need to hear all the details of what’s making us sad or scared, but if we can help them accept their own feelings as natural and normal, their feelings will be much more manageable for them.
Angry feelings are part of being human, especially when we feel powerless. One of the most important messages we can give our children is, “It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hurt ourselves or others.” Besides giving children the right to their anger, we can help them find constructive things to do with their feelings. This way, we’ll be giving them useful tools that will serve them all their life, and help them to become the worlds’ future peacemakers — the world’s future “helpers.”

Here are some helpful hints on helping young people during tragedies like this:

  • Do your best to keep the television off, or at least limit how much your child sees of any news event.
  • Try to keep yourself calm. Your presence can help your child feel more secure.
  • Give your child extra comfort and physical affection, like hugs or snuggling up together with a favorite book. Physical comfort goes a long way towards providing inner security. That closeness can nourish you, too.
  • Try to keep regular routines as normal as possible. Children and adults count on their familiar pattern of everyday life.
  • Plan something that you and your child enjoy doing together, like taking a walk, going on a picnic, having some quiet time, or doing something silly. It can help to know there are simple things in life that can help us feel better, in good times and in bad.
  • Even if children don’t mention what they’ve seen or heard in the news, it can help to ask what they think has happened. If parents don’t bring up the subject, children can be left with their misinterpretations. You may be really surprised at how much your child has heard from others.
  • Focus attention on the helpers, like the police, firemen, doctors, nurses, paramedics, and volunteers. It’s reassuring to know there are many caring people who are doing all they can to help others in this world.
  • Let your child know if you’re making a donation, going to a town meeting, writing a letter or e-mail of support, or taking some other action. It can help children to know that adults take many different active roles and that we don’t give in to helplessness in times of worldwide crisis.

Most importantly, don’t neglect the power of prayer. Pray for God to give you words to speak. Pray with your children to hear God’s voice in the midst of tragedy. Give God thanks and praise for providing helpers.

-Greg

Posted October 3, 2017 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

A Sunday talk on sex, drugs, drinking and dying with the frat boys   Leave a comment

A Sunday talk on sex, drugs, drinking and dying with the frat boys

Published on September 17, 2017|Featured in: Best Advice, Careers: The Next Level, Education, Millennials, Social Impact
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Louis M. Profeta MDSign in to follow this author

Just an Emergency Physician at St. Vincent EM Physicians Inc., author, public speaker, but mostly a father and a husband

Most bowed their heads or held their hands across their mouths as I described how it would happen. I told them that they will awaken with the smell of shit filling their bedroom. The lights will probably be low and the shades pulled and, because they are just waking up, they might have trouble focusing their eyes, especially after a night of heavy partying.
“Damn it, Benny, did you fart or shit yourself?” they might yell out. “F.cking get out of here, you smell awful!”
Those are the words I told them that they might shout just before they flip on the lights or stumble out of bed and trip on the now blue and stiff body sporting a college T-shirt passed down from an older brother who graduated two years past.
Dead, waxy, with “rock-still” clouded eyes, you could never envision a stare so distant. You played pickup basketball yesterday at the campus rec center and Benny maybe hit one out of 10 threes. You blew him crap all day about it. Now, though, he is so still, laying among the pile of yet-to-be-washed clothes or wrapped up in a blanket on a piss-soaked IKEA futon delivered to him last week. You bought the TV and the coffee table. The top two drawers are yours.
“Think about it. Nobody gets up in the morning, brushes their teeth, combs their hair and says to themselves, ‘Today is the day I die,” I told them.
This was the second time I had given this talk — one I wish I could give to college students across the country as campuses now return to life. My son’s fraternity at Indiana University-Bloomington, a Big Ten school and my alma mater housed in limestone buildings in an impossibly picturesque college town, had invited me to sit in front of more than two dozen young men in the living room of their fraternity. It was the most beautiful of Sunday afternoons. They could have been doing anything else. They did not have to be here, but here they were.
So I walked them through it. I showed them how I would tell their mom and dad that they were dead and how mom would pull hunks of her hair out ‘til it bled and dad would punch the wall shattering a bone or two but not noticing, a river of snot pouring from his face. I described how his “brothers” from the frat would sit along the wall in the waiting room and sob. But, already, mom and dad would be blaming them for getting their kid drunk or stoned to the point puke bubbled up in his throat, then plugged his trachea, choking him just as surely as if they had taken their foot and crushed their child’s windpipe on their own.
“They will blame you for their child’s death until the day you die. Are you ready for that?” I asked.
They sat silent, not wanting to look up.
I spent a few minutes pretending to breathe like someone asleep under the influence of a large amount of alcohol or just a few sedatives but who was at real risk of aspirating vomit into their lungs, or choking on their own tongue as it falls to the back of their mouth. You could tell from the look on their faces they all knew someone who once breathed like that after passing out drunk and now they were wondering how close they might have come, how close.
I challenged them with how absolutely idiotic it was for them to think that, just because they had perhaps taken a first-aid class or read a what-to-do-with-a-drunk-friend primer on the internet they somehow now had the skill set to “monitor” a friend who passed out after the fifth vodka slammer.
“We use well-trained nurses, paramedics, sophisticated pulse oximetry and cardiac monitoring in our ER to assess these patients, not some pledge vying to become a ‘brother.’”
And they listened, and they listened intently. You could tell they wanted to know, and each one knew they needed to know.
“If you drink to the point that you do not have control of your faculties you are an idiot. If you encourage someone to get to that point you are an asshole and certainly no brother. Friends don’t do that. It takes one little mistake to ruin your life or someone else’s life forever.” The room stayed quiet for a bit, but you could tell they wanted to ask more questions.
“You guys have a chance to ask me anything you want. You’ve got an ER doc who practices in a level I trauma center and who is on the board of directors of a major metropolitan city crime lab standing right in front of you. What do you want to know?”
And the hands finally went up — I should have known better; you could tell they needed a bit of a break.
“What about Viagra, is it safe for people our age?” Nervous laughter erupted.
“Son, which part of erection lasting more than six hours don’t you understand?”
“Doc, that’s the whole point.”
“You’re 21 and in college. You have Tinder for God’s sake. If you can’t get an erection now, you’ve got a hell of a lot bigger problems than are fixable with Viagra. Besides, you know what we have to do for an erection lasting six hours? It’s called priapism and its treatment involves two large needles…” A collective groan of thirty men a few years removed from puberty filled the room.
“What about Red Bull?” another hand shot up.
“It’s just a boatload of caffeine; I’ve never understood mixing it with vodka. I guess if you like the taste, but what’s the point of mixing a stimulant and a sedative? Seems like a waste of good vodka to me, but I feel the same about Jack and Coke. It’s too easy to drink too much. Just…think about maybe not.”
“What about Ativan?”
“Mix it with alcohol of any kind and you got a decent chance of dying. Why do you need to pass out? What the hell are you doing with it anyway? That’s just stupid. If you are going to have a few drinks, then do that. If you are going to smoke some weed…well that’s one thing, but don’t fuck with prescription or non-prescription medications.”
“Can you tell us about cocaine”
“Yeah, use it once and you can die of a heart attack or have a stroke then you can spend the rest of your life in a nursing home with a feeding tube poking out of your stomach, in a diaper, limbs contracted, getting huge bed sores and urine infections. You are out of your f.cking mind if you use that. The same goes with heroin. You stand a good chance of dying or ending up brain damaged with even one single use. You guys need to kick out of your house anyone ever caught doing that shit. It’s horribly addictive, life-destroying garbage. I have never, ever met a person that was glad they started using it…even once. And you are now one degree of separation away from the worst criminal element on earth.”
“What about vaping.”
“It’s better than smoking.”
“What about Adderall?”
“It’s a stimulant too, it’s an amphetamine, you know like meth.”
“Yeah but nobody does that here…”
“Bullshit, pal.” I interrupted and snapped back. “This is the Midwest. Memphis has barbecue. We make meth. Besides you probably don’t have ADD; just try sleeping earlier, on occasion open a book and pay attention for a change.” More than a few snickered.
And we talked a bit about sexual assault and what they never, ever envisioned, and it became quiet again.
“Do you honestly think you would ever know or find out if one of your ‘brothers’ had been raped or sodomized? Do you honestly think that guys confide in anyone other than us in the ER that this has happened? You don’t think for one minute that if you follow some girl home and get passed-out drunk, some other guy or ex-boyfriend might not use your intoxicated state to seek revenge, humiliate you, soil your face, photograph you? You don’t think we see that?”
You could tell that it had never crossed their minds, but I’ve seen it.
And we talked more about women.
“You asked me here because you want to do the right thing; make the right choices. When it comes to women under the influence, don’t go there. Don’t sleep with them because no matter what, one of you may regret it and the reality is, they…will…not…believe…you. I don’t care if it was consensual. They will not believe you. Besides you all have moms or sisters that you respect. Me, I don’t have daughters, but if I did, I’d probably hate all you out of my own irrational fear as a father. If you are not absolutely sure she consents, then don’t have sex with her. It’s not worth it and it simply is not right. Be men, not animals.”
We talked some more, about other drugs and prevailing dangers of their time.
“I’m not here to preach about all the evils of sex, weed and alcohol to you. I’m not going to tell you to abstain, but just some food for thought. Studies clearly show though that your long-term earning potential will be less if you smoke weed on a regular basis. For that reason alone, I’d probably think twice, unless of course your lifelong dream is to always work for someone else. Weed typically doesn’t open doors in your life. Drink, but think about perhaps not getting drunk. Have sex, but have responsible sex based on mutual understanding and respect. If you have to think about whether or not it’s the right thing to do, then it’s the wrong thing to do. Doing the right thing is simply not that confusing. It may be hard to do, but it’s not that confusing.”
“I’m a parent,” I said, as I motioned to my child who seemed proud that I was there and I was proud that he asked me. “I want you to have a great college experience that helps prepare you for a long, healthy and happy future. We understand each other?” They nodded. “You can always call me or one of my partners, or go to any ER in America if you need help or are scared or confused or worried or lost. Don’t make me go into that quiet room, kneel in front of your mother and tell her you’re dead…please.” They all nodded one final time.
And I could tell, on this sunny Sunday afternoon, that they were listening and that what I said mattered to them and it gave me hope. It gave me hope.
Dr. Louis M. Profeta is an emergency physician practicing in Indianapolis. He is one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices and the author of the critically acclaimed book, The Patient in Room Nine Says He’s God.
Feedback at louermd@att.net is welcomed.

Posted September 18, 2017 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

What Happens in an Internet Minute in 2016?   Leave a comment

Jeff Desjardins

on April 25, 2016 at 10:52 am

Last week, we published U.S. consumption numbers in real-time, highlighting the speed at which physical goods and services are purchased.

Today, we enter into the digital realm to see what happens every minute on the internet. The statistics are mind-boggling and put in perspective how scalable platforms have taken over the world:

The above infographic shows how truly important the element of scale is to business today.

Google literally processes 2.4 million searches every minute. In that same span of time, 700,000 people login to Facebook and Amazon sells over $200,000 of physical and digital goods.

Platforms such as the ones listed above are comparable in magnitude to other mega-sized companies, but without the intense capital expenditures, debt, or hard costs. That’s why Alphabet, Google’s parent company, can spend over a billion dollars each year on “moonshots”, and why Facebook’s stock is up 35.6% over the last 52 weeks.

Here are the full stats on what happens every internet minute:

  • 701,389 logins on Facebook
  • 69,444 hours watched on Netflix
  • 150 million emails sent
  • 1,389 Uber rides
  • 527,760 photos shared on Snapchat
  • 51,000 app downloads on Apple’s App Store
  • $203,596 in sales on Amazon.com
  • 120+ new Linkedin accounts
  • 347,222 tweets on Twitter
  • 28,194 new posts to Instagram
  • 38,052 hours of music listened to on Spotify
  • 1.04 million vine loops
  • 2.4 million search queries on Google
  • 972,222 Tinder swipes
  • 2.78 million video views on Youtube
  • 20.8 million messages on WhatsApp

That’s a lot of data every minute, and this volume of information is part of the reason that these same companies are prioritizing the ability to process and interpret big data more than ever before.

Original graphic by: Excelacom

Posted April 5, 2017 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

5 Reasons Every Student Should Go On Mission Trips   Leave a comment

By Sam Townsend for Youthworks.com, 

1. Mission Trips Bring Youth Groups Together.

If you’ve ever been on a weekend student retreat, you know how that experience can build community. Teenagers ride together, play together, eat together, stay up late together, get up tired together… “Together” is a powerful word. Think of “together” as glue – the more broadly it’s spread, the better a youth group will bond. Mission trips apply “together” to students’ sense of adventure, their desire serve, their relationship with God, their daily experiences, their broken comfort zones and much more (including these things below!).

2. Mission Trips Broaden Perspectives.

Teenagers might be more connected than ever with what’s happening around the world, but have they seen what it’s like to live below the poverty line in small-town America? Or experienced the energy and exhaustion of inner-city living? Or felt the heartbeat of Native America beaten across the taut surface of a drum? Pulling teenagers from their typical context helps them understand that the world is larger that their daily lives would have them believe. By beginning to understand another setting, their own context comes into truer focus.

3. Mission Trips Challenge Comfort Zones.

Beyond broadening perspectives, mission trips demand that teenagers participate. Painting a house, playing with kids, serving a meal, sleeping on an air mattress, experiencing a new culture – these are a few examples of ways comfort zones are crossed. But when coupled with intentional processing and worship, mission trips have the unique ability to challenge students’ comfortable perceptions of God and the world. Faith steps beyond the doors of the church and demands to be applied to real-world living.

4. Mission Trips Empower Students.

God is doing incredible work through the Church. The energy, authenticity, fresh perspective and passion teenagers bring are a vibrant part of that church. Done well, mission trips help students take ownership and initiative. Eyes are opened. Passions are ignited. Possibilities are exposed. Pursuits begin. Mission trips help teenagers see what they are capable of. But first, the Church chooses to believe in the incredible opportunity of being a teenager – not a possibility to be met “someday,” but a boiling potential just waiting to overflow.

5. Mission Trips Create Sacred Space.

The Israelites used to build monuments by throwing together big piles of rocks to point at later and say, “That signifies God’s faithfulness in our nation.” For many teenagers, mission trips represent a time and a place when God worked in and through their lives. More than a mere mountain-top high, these sacred spaces both anchor students in their faith and propel them forward in their relationship with God. Even in times of trouble, teenagers often point toward their mission trip experience and say, “That signifies God’s faithfulness in my life.”

Posted March 17, 2016 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

Why I Would Never Force My Kids To Go To Church   Leave a comment

From truthnotes.net Posted by 

My parents forced me to eat three times a day growing up.  No joke.  Three times.  Every.  Single.  Day.  And it wasn’t always stuff I liked, either.  Matter of fact, I complained a lot about what my mom made.  “Ewww, gross!  Sauteed zucchini?  Seriously?  Mom, you know we hate this stuff!”  So as I approached adulthood I made an important decision.  Since my parents forced me to eat while I was growing up, I decided I was done with meals.  Oh, here and there I’ll eat out of obligation.  I mean, family traditions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, yeah, I’m there.  But daily eating?  No way.  I’m done.

Set in any other context, excuses people make for not going to church sound completely ridiculous.  But set in the context of Christianity, people say these things in all seriousness while others nod sagely in somber agreement.

My son told me a few weeks into school that he didn’t like the teacher.  He wasn’t getting excited enough about learning, and he didn’t really feel connected to the other kids in his class, so I told him he never had to go back to school again.  Who wants to waste their time going somewhere where they aren’t being fulfilled?

We’ve never forced our daughter to stay off the road when playing.  We don’t want to restrict her imagination.  We allow her the freedom to make her own choices in life.

Okay, Ruth.  Come on.  That one was just ridiculous.  No loving parent would ever say that.  That’s a safety issue- a matter of life and death.  Exactly.  And that’s just my point.

Church isn’t a place you go to get pumped up about life.  It isn’t entertainment like a movie or concert.  It is literally a life and death matter.  Eternal life.  Just as a loving parent wouldn’t allow their child to wander in the road or to quit school, a loving Christian parent also does not give the option to their children about going to church, learning Bible stories at home, and praying together.  Do your kids always jump for joy when they hear you say, “Time to get up!  Let’s get ready for church!”  No.  They won’t.  Do they get excited for school every morning?  Hardly.  But you still make them go.  Why?  Because you are the parent and you know what’s best.  Even when they complain, you serve them healthful meals and limit their junk food intake.  You set boundaries for their own safety when playing outside.  You insist they go to school because you’re looking at the long term picture.  And you are right to do those things.  How much more so are you responsible for doing all you can to secure their eternal well being?

Yes, kids can be brought up in a loving Christian home and still turn away later.  That’s on them.  But you, parents, have a task of the utmost importance.  God has placed these precious children into your homes for such a brief while.  You have them with you for perhaps 1/5 of their lives.  Set a strong foundation while they are under your roof.  Take them to church.  Make sure they understand that they are sinners and that Jesus is their Savior.  They are never too young to learn this.  My one-and-a-half year old sees a cross and excitedly shouts, “Jesus!”  Don’t use the excuse that “they wouldn’t understand this.”  Try them.  I don’t understand it all myself, but I still believe.  And you’d better believe that the Holy Spirit works in their hearts effectively.  My children sometime amaze me with the insights they pick up during devotions or Bible readings.  The strength of their faith often humbles me.  Once when I was having a terrible day, my oldest asked, “Can I pray with you?”  He was nine at the time.  He knows there is power in prayer.  He perceives that sometimes there’s nothing he can say that will make it better, so he’ll just go straight to the One who does have that power.  Do my own kids complain about church?  Yes.  Do they tell me it’s boring?  Sometimes, yes.  They say the same things about school.  But church and school are different environments for a reason.  School is centered around learning and thus has its own schedule and structure.  Church is a hospital for sinners.  That would be all of us, mind you.  You, me, the drug dealer a few streets away- all of us are sinners in need of a Savior.  So what do we do at church?  We confess our sins.  Why do we do this at the start?  To “wipe our feet” before entering God’s house, so to speak.  Then we are assured of forgiveness.  We hear God’s Word.  We sing hymns proclaiming what Christ has done for us.  We hear sermons where our pastors preach Christ.  We don’t go to church to hear what we have to do to gain heaven.  No, Christ did it all.  100%.  We can’t do one thing to merit salvation for ourselves.  That’s why we hear sermons about Jesus and not about us. We take the body and blood of Jesus in Holy Communion for the strength of our souls.  And we depart refreshed to serve God by serving our families, friends, and neighbors in Christian love.

So parents, don’t give in to outside pressures telling you not to force your kids to go to church.  Don’t give in to them, either, when they complain about it.  Because at some point an amazing thing happens- that kid who complains about church grows up and takes his or her own kids to church every Sunday.  Going back to my opening analogy, believe it or not, there came a point in my own life where I realized I actually liked sauteed zucchini (although I never would have admitted that to my mother).  Keep at it, parents.  Just as we need three meals a day for physical strength and nourishment, so do we need regular worship to refresh and strengthen our souls.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make breakfast.

PHOTO IS BAYLEE BY ALLY MAURO

Posted March 28, 2014 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

7 Ways a Husband Injures a Wife   Leave a comment

Here are 7 ways a husband injures a wife…without even knowing it:

From Ron Edmondson, Ronedmondson.com – http://goo.gl/Jo8QzJ

image1

Cuts her out of the discussion – When you act as if she isn’t even there or wouldn’t understand what you’re talking about, she feels a part of her is detached. She sees the marriage as a partnership…in every part of life…even the parts she may never fully understand.

Fails to notice the difference she makes – A woman doesn’t want to be appreciated for only what she does. She wants you to appreciate who she is, but you can admit it – she does a lot. Whether it’s decorating the house or making sure the clothes are clean…or that you have your favorite soap…a woman wants to know what she does is valued by you.

Underestimates the small stuff – You only said “this” but it was “THIS” to her. And it hurts. You may even think it’s funny. She may even laugh. But it is often building a wall of protection around her heart each time you do. The key here is that you can’t talk to her like you might talk to another guy. She hears and feels deeper than you do. Words can and do hurt.

Speaks with curtness – When you talk down to her, as if she’s somehow less than you, you bruise her spirit. Deeply. And, you know she’s not less than you…you don’t even think she is…she just can’t tell that sometimes based on your tone and the way you talk to her.

Corrects her as she’s talking – This could be finishing her sentences or speaking for her in the company of others. She feels demeaned and devalued when you present her to others as if she can’t compete with you in original thought…which you know isn’t true. (My wife is much smarter than me.)

Acts suspicious – Don’t misunderstand or misapply this one. When you hide information, even when you think you’re protecting her, you cause her to question your motive. When you protect your calendar…or act like you are upset at the question “What did you do today?” or “What did you talk about?” or “Who was that?” when someone calls, it gives her an eerie feeling something is wrong. And, that hurts.

Admires other women over her – She sees you looking. She may even understand your highly visual make-up. It hurts her, however, when a glance becomes a stare…especially when it happens everywhere you go…all the time.

A wife’s heart, no matter how independent or strong she is, is tender in places. Lots of places. She can bruise easily in some areas of her life…especially the places that involve the people she loves the most…like you. A husband who understands this is more careful in how he speaks and responds to her.

Most husbands I know would never injure their wife knowingly. They want to be her protector. Men, when we don’t realize the damage we are doing to our wives emotions, we invalidate every desire we have to be her defender. I always like to use this thought as a reminder: Would I ever allow another man to speak to or treat my wife like I am doing? She’s a precious gift guys…let’s treat her well.

Posted March 11, 2014 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

7 Ways a Wife Injures Her Husband   Leave a comment

Here are 7 ways a wife injures her husband (without even knowing it):

From Ron Edmondson, ronedmondson.com – http://goo.gl/HokL36

counseling-distressed-couple

Put him down in front of other people – Most men will not counter this type of humiliation in public…if ever. They will simply take it…and hurt. If they do eventually address it it will be out of stored up resentment…maybe anger…and it won’t be pretty.

Go behind him when he tries to do something at home – When you always show him how much better you can do things than he can do them, his ego is injured. When he fixes the bed…for example…and you follow behind him showing him the “correct way” immediately after he finishes, he is reminded he doesn’t measure up to your standards.

Constantly badger him – If he doesn’t do what you want him to do…and you remind him. Again. And, again…it never accomplishes what you think it will. In fact, it injures him with the opposite result.

Use the “you always” phrase…excessively – Because…he “always” does… Not really, but when you accuse him that he always does…sadly, it only helps build him into a man that always will.

Hold him responsible for your emotional well-being – Acting as if he’s the reason you feel bad today…and every other day you feel bad…puts undue pressure on him he doesn’t know what to do with. And, you don’t have to tell him. Subtly, just be in a bad mood towards him…without releasing him from guilt. He’ll take the hint…and own the responsibility. He will think it’s his fault even if it’s not. And, he caries that pain.

Complain about what you don’t have or get to do – He has a desire to fix things. He wants to be a provider. Every man does. Some attempt to live it out and some don’t. But, when he’s trying, doing the best he can, yet he feels he isn’t measuring up…he’s crushed. When you are always commenting on what other women have…that you don’t…he carries the blame…even if you’re not intending it to be his.

Don’t appreciate his efforts – Want to injure a man? Refuse to appreciate the things he feels he does well. It could be work, a hobby or a trait, but he feels part of his identity in the things he does. When you don’t find them as “valuable” as he does, his ego is bruised.

The reality is a man’s ego…self-confidence…sense of worth…is greatly tied to his wife. Just as a woman’s is to her husband. We can be fragile people. Some more than others. And, some seasons more than others. Understanding these issues and addressing them…with a third party if necessary…build healthier, stronger and happier people…and marriages.

I understand some women, especially the equally or more wounded women, are going to take offense to this post. I get that. I’m prepared for that…I think. All I can say is that you can’t measure my heart or my intention. As I said, I aim to help. You can’t address what you do not know. If you are guilty of any of these, the response is up to you. If not, well, thanks for reading to this point in the post anyway.

Posted March 10, 2014 by sotpyouth in Uncategorized

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Facts & Dreams

"Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet." -Victor Hugo