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“Okay, I admit it. I am truly addicted to Facebook,” said teenage blogger Heidi Barry-Rodriquez in 2007. In 2009, teen Neeka Salmasi described the social networking giant as being “like an addiction”. This year, a casino site mentioned that “Facebook provides the atmosphere where it is tough to walk away” in a direct comparison to gambling addiction. A quick web search and it becomes appallingly evident that we have a problem. Text messaging is no longer the biggest teenage obsession, and long gone are the days where the biggest worries for parents were celebrity crushes, massive phone bills from ridiculously long phone calls and chocolate overloads. These teenage obsessions still exist, but in today’s day and age, and in comparison to the Facebook craze, they seem rather insignificant.
Facebook is taking over the world, and that’s no exaggeration. Everyone from eager-to-fit-in tweens to educated business people to intrigued grandparents has joined the phenomenon, and unsurprisingly many teenagers have also caught Facebook fever. And like with many of the latest attention-grabbing trends, some teenagers can go a little overboard when participating in them. Perhaps we join Facebook because everyone has an account and, as teenagers, the need to fit in is just too great, or perhaps there’s just a special something that has helped the social networking site attract so many million people. Teenagers have a tendency to become obsessive with the ‘in’ thing and Facebook, the trend of the decade, is no exception; the question is, have we overdone in? And is there really such thing as Facebook addiction?
An American psychologist believes so. In fact, he’s even introduced a new term to describe such an addiction. FAD, or Facebook Addiction Disorder, is a condition that is defined by hours spent on Facebook, so much time in fact that the healthy balance of the individual’s life is affected. It has been said that approximately 350 million people are suffering from the disorder that is detected through a simple set of six-criteria. People who are victims of the condition must have at least 2-3 of the following criteria during a 6-8 month time period.
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From MSNBC.COM:
As prom night approaches and parents begin to worry about what might happen during after hour parties, some might be tempted to try to teach their high schoolers to drink responsibly – by allowing them to consume alcohol under supervision.
That approach, scientists now say, is dead wrong.
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(CBS) Tweens and teens in dating relationships are experiencing significant levels of various forms of abuse, many don’t know the warning signs of an abusive relationship, and many parents don’t know what’s going on in those relationships, a new survey says.
Among the findings:
69 percent of all teens who had sex by age 14 said they have gone through one or more types of abuse in a relationship.
40 percent of the youngest tweens, those between the ages of 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships, and nearly one-in-ten (9 percent) say their friends have had sex.
Nearly three-in-four tweens (72 percent) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger.
More than one-in-three 11-12 year olds (37percent) say they have been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
One-in-five between the ages of 13 and 14 say their friends are victims of dating violence, such as getting struck, hit or slapped by a boyfriend or girlfriend, and nearly half of all tweens in relationships say they know friends who are verbally abused.
One-in-five 13-14 year olds in relationships (20 percent) say they know friends and peers who’ve been struck in anger (kicked, hit, slapped, or punched) by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Only half of all tweens (51 percent) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship.In addition, significant numbers of teens (15-18) are experiencing emotional and mental abuse as well as violence when dating; it’s even more prevalent among teens who’ve had sex by 14.And many teens and tweens say they’ve been victims of technological abuse, in which cell phones, paging, IMs, social networking sites, etc. were used to carry out the abuse.The survey, which was commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org, was conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited. Loveisrespect.org operates the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.
“We were surprised at how many tweens or kids ages 11 and 12 are dealing with these issues,” Liz Claiborne Vice President Jane Randel told Early Show national correspondent Tracy Smith.
What’s behind it all? Researchers believe early sexual activity tends to fuel dating violence among teens and tweens, Smith reports.
And Randel points out that, “Parents, while they think they know what their teens or, more importantly, tweens relationships are, they’re really not fully aware of what’s going on. And that’s scary.”
Experts say programs are needed to help parents and their kids recognize unhealthy relationships, and to stop them before they start.
Concerned by the trend toward abusive tween and teen dating, the National Association of Attorneys General passed a resolution urging states to establish educational programs on teen dating violence and abuse.
The move was spearheaded by Patrick Lynch, Rhode Island’s attorney general, who told co-anchor Russ Mitchell on The Early Show Tuesday that the numbers in the survey are “absolutely alarming.”
He said young people need to be made aware of “these horrors” so the “violence not only doesn’t occur at that level, but isn’t perpetuated in generations to come.”
http://cnettv.cnet.com/av/video/cbsnews/atlantis2/cbsnews_player_embed.swf
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(HealthDay News) — If you want your children to flourish, get them involved in extracurricular activities other than sports, new research suggests.
Children in fifth, sixth and seventh grades who took part in both sports and after-school activities such as Boys & Girls Clubs, 4-H or Scouts had the highest scores for “positive development” and the lowest scores for risky and problem behavior, according to a study from Tufts University, published recently in Developmental Psychology.
“Positive development” includes measures of competence, confidence, character, connection and caring, the study authors explained.
About 60 percent of U.S. children participate in at least one sport, making sports the most common after-school activity, according to information in a news release from Tufts.
Although a large body of research suggests that sports participation is associated with psychological well-being, positive social development and higher academic and professional achievement, some research has shown that participation in sports may be linked to some risky behaviors.
The new study, which looked at data on 1,357 adolescents who took part in the 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development, found that those students who only took part in sports had lower scores on characteristics of “positive development” and higher scores on bullying, substance use and depression than students who also took part in youth development activities.
“Parents should be certain that their teens balance participation in sports and in youth development programs,” said Richard Lerner, professor of child development at Tufts University School of Arts and Sciences in Boston. “Participation in even one youth development program may counteract possibly detrimental influences of sport participation on teen emotional and behavioral health, while also enhancing the health and well-being of their sons and daughters.”
Youth development programs are after-school activities that involve adult mentorship, life skills training and opportunities for leadership, according to the study.
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Add “Facebook depression” to potential harms linked with social media, an influential doctors’ group warns, referring to a condition it says may affect troubled teens who obsess over the online site.
Researchers disagree on whether it’s simply an extension of depression some kids feel in other circumstances, or a distinct condition linked with using the online site.
But there are unique aspects of Facebook that can make it a particularly tough social landscape to navigate for kids already dealing with poor self-esteem, said Dr. Gwenn O’Keeffe, a Boston-area pediatrician and lead author of new American Academy of Pediatrics social media guidelines.
With in-your-face friends’ tallies, status updates and photos of happy-looking people having great times, Facebook pages can make some kids feel even worse if they think they don’t measure up.
It can be more painful than sitting alone in a crowded school cafeteria or other real-life encounters that can make kids feel down, O’Keeffe said, because Facebook provides a skewed view of what’s really going on. Online, there’s no way to see facial expressions or read body language that provide context.
She said the benefits of kids using social media sites like Facebook shouldn’t be overlooked, however, such as connecting with friends and family, sharing pictures and exchanging ideas. “A lot of what’s happening is actually very healthy, but it can go too far,” she said.
Read the article here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/03/28/earlyshow/living/parenting/main20047775.shtml
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As promised here is the article on Glee. It’s a long one, but it’s worth the time it takes to read. It goes much further that just the show “Glee”. It’s about being intentional regarding if the decisions we make are God honoring.
Peace,
Greggor
Prior to May 19, 2009, the word glee was obscure, nothing more than a right-click synonym for happiness or delight. But following American Idol that Tuesday night, the word glee became the buzz on campuses.
“Did you see Glee last night?”
“Yeah, hilarious!”
“The music was awesome. I downloaded two of the songs on iTunes before I went to bed.”
A year later, the show would blow everything else away, with 19 Emmy nominations, more than any other TV program. The 2010 Emmys became Glee-afied, with a memorable opening number in which Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Betty White, and other popular television stars joined the Glee cast in song and dance performing Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run.”
The show is now one of the most watched, most downloaded, and most talked-about TV programs among young people. The 2010 Teen Choice Awards were hosted by Katy Perry and the Glee cast. The MTV Video Music Awards used the Glee cast to award Lady Gaga a VMA for best pop video. Glee characters Rachel, Finn, Kurt, and Quinn are household names and pop-culture icons.
Each episode is probably one of the most creative and entertaining hours of television on any given Tuesday. The storyline is hilarious yet gripping, the 15 characters are both real and memorable, and the musical numbers are well performed. (When I was growing up, we had Fame. Rachel is the new Cocoa.) There’s more talent on this cast than almost any year of American Idol’s top 10. After the show airs, the songs go on sale on iTunes and are immediately catapulted into to the top 10. I’ve seen Season 1 CDs three times this week at three different stores and the DVD’s on display everywhere in anticipation of the Season II Premier coming this Tuesday, September 21.
Looking for Answers
So, what content are young viewers absorbing from this show?
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Parents,
In ours and our kids busyness (getting our kids to the baseball games, basketball games, softball games, all of those practices, dance, cheerleading practices, karate, gymnastics, church activities, our jobs, our activities am I missing anything?), we fail to give our children what they really desire – Face time and quality conversations.
To be able to spend time and talk with your child about what is happening right in front of you and around you. For example, do you watch Glee with your child and use that to spark conversations (stay tuned for my Glee post)?
The following article really challenged me to take a look at the amount of times I, as a parent, use my time to really talk to my children instead of keeping up with the many TV shows I enjoy, or the amount of time I spend on my laptop working, or the numerous things I would be doing otherwise.
I urge you to keep reading and be challenged.
Peace,
Greggor
Every teen wants a cool cell phone. Most want slick cars. Many want the latest video game. No surprise, right? But there’s one thing teenagers want that may surprise you—especially since it doesn’t cost a dime.
But that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be cheap, either.
Disappearing Face Time
If you’re part of a typical American family, you’re constantly strapped for time. Life is busy, work is demanding, and kids participate in every sort of extracurricular activity imaginable. Tag on chores, school, and homework, and you’ve got a recipe for family members living together…yet isolated in silos.
There’s little to no “face time.”
In fact, Dr. Robert Evans, author of Family Matters, notes, “A typical father will spend less than three minutes per day alone with a child who has reached his or her teenage years.”
And this shortfall of face time couldn’t come at a more crucial—or ironic—moment. In a landmark study by the Associated Press and MTV, performed in 2007, researchers discovered that a whopping 73 percent of teens said their mothers and/or fathers made them “happy.” (No, that’s not a typo.) And when asked, “What one thing in life makes you the most happy?” the most frequent answer given was “spending time with family.” (Nope, that’s not a typo, either!)
You might be thinking to yourself: “Yeah, but that was three years ago. The iPhone was invented, and reinvented, several more times since that research was performed. Kids don’t want me around; they want stuff, entertainment, and whatever else my hard-earned money buys.”
Well…
In a brand new survey by Family Circle, 25 percent of teens claimed they wanted more time with their parents. In fact, one 16-year-old guy actually said, “I think it’d be cool if my parents worked less, just because I’d get to see them more.”
Granted, 70 percent of the kids interviewed said they were content with the amount of attention they received from their parents, but mark this in your heart: 95 percent of teens are paying very close attention to how much quality time parents spend with them.
So, what should we do this?
Giving Them What They Want
Too often parents give up or give in and just end up giving kids what they want instead of what they need. So, how cool is it—in this regard—that what kids want is actually what they need?
Finally, we can—with some confidence—give them what they want.
As noted previously, what kids want most is not a piece of tech gear or a car or a new article of clothing. That’s good news on the wallet, right?
Sure, but to give kids what they want most of all, we must be willing to pay the price in terms of time.
Parents may have to give their calendars a makeover—or a total overhaul. Perhaps a TV show has to go. Or maybe a hobby or two. Some parents may even have to calculate what all those long hours and overtime pay is actually costing them at home.
Why? Because three minutes a day just doesn’t cut it.
There are no shortcuts, either. Many parents may be tempted to inject themselves in between all that’s going on in their kids’ lives rather than whittle away some intentional face time. For instance, instead of taking the better route of having healthy conversations over meals, we might resort to just sending our kids more text messages each day. (After all, it’s commonly known that kids prefer that system of communication more than any other.)
But texting isn’t the same as good, old-fashioned face time…and our kids know it. Jonathan McKee, in his book CONNECT: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation, contends that “technology is a great tool, but it’s just a tool. Nothing replaces face-to-face relationships.”
Functional Face Time
Creating family face time will look different from house to house. Some families are closer to the target than others. But the results will look very similar for most families: Happier, healthier kids.
My friend Steve—a busy and successful professional—has two kids in college; one boy and one girl. They’re both solid kids. Did they get that way by accident? Are some kids better than others? Are some just easier to raise?
Perhaps it has something to do with Steve’s intentionality and sacrifice.
Every week he and his daughter have a date night; neither his wife nor his son is invited. The two of them go out to dinner (and maybe some ice cream) and just talk. Nothing fancy, nothing expensive. But it’s his dedicated time with her—totally focused on her needs, thoughts, concerns, as well as their relationship.
During those hours each month, Steve talks about following Jesus, what kind of young man she should be looking for in life, her studies, and so forth. He says for him it’s a rich time, but if you talk to his daughter—and I have many times—she lives for those moments with her dad. Those times make her feel very special.
For you parents, if a (whole) night per week sounds impossible to give up—shoot for something more manageable at first. If it’s one night per month, do it. If it’s an uninterrupted dinner hour at home, do that. Whatever you choose to start with, be intentional about setting—and keeping—that incredibly important appointment.
Time is our most precious commodity. Every human being eventually runs out of it, and there’s absolutely nothing we can do to change that.
Yes, this face time with your kids will cost you…but it will be well worth the investment.
Does it seem like we are typically worn down and our fuses are shorter now that our kids are getting to be teenagers? Are they doing things that you didn’t think a person could be programmed to do? Are their demands getting more and more…well, demanding?
Read on from homeward.com…
Question:
I never saw myself as an angry person until my children became teenagers! Now it seems they are always wearing me down. My husband and I both work hard and there is way too much tension in the home. How can we pull it together?
Answer:
H.A.L.T. That’s what I have written on a piece of paper on my desk. Hurting… Angry… Lonely… Tired… When I find myself sensing any of the above feelings I know I need to HALT and get some perspective or if left untended my stress level will soar.
If I don’t take care of those needs I find myself making lousy parenting and marriage decisions. Life’s not easy. Parenting isn’t easy. Take time in the midst of your fast paced lifestyle to reduce your tension level. Take a walk. Read a Psalm. Watch a funny movie. Pay attention to your anger before it gets the best of you. If these simple ideas don’t work then by all means do the surgery it takes to reduce your stress load. Notice that I used the word surgery. To make the right decisions you may need to reduce your income, activities, and/or busy lifestyle choices. No easy answers here only difficult decisions. Too many times we look for the quick fix instead of making the necessary decisions our heart and mind tells us to make.
What’s Really Going On With Significant Others?
An article from David R. Smith
Girls get a manicure and pedicure. Guys get a haircut and call up a friend to brag about who they’re going out with that night. These are just a few of the things teenagers do before the date.
But what are they doing during the date?
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